If Ayelet Waldman and Nicole Krauss got together and formed a club for writers married to other notable writers, Kate Lehrer would be its president. Sure, Kate’s an accomplished writer; she’s got four novels under her belt, her work is widely anthologized , and she’s a founding member of PEN/Faulkner. Yet when folks talk to her about her career, the name of her husband often finds its way into the conversation. I guess that’s what happens when you’re married for over thirty-five years to Jim Lehrer, Emmy award-winning anchor of PBS's The News Hour with Jim Lehrer, and author of 14 novels.
How does Kate manage being the other half of a dynamic writing duo? Well, don’t let the title of her latest book,Confessions of a Bigamist, give you the wrong impression. Here’s the real answer, in her own words:
As one half of a novel-writing couple who have survived together the writing, publishing, and marketing of 19 novels —15 for Jim and 4 for me —I'd like to report that there are more days of wine and roses than ....well, the bad days at Blackrock. The rewards really do outweigh the frustrations, more so as we've mellowed —sort of —over time and error.
Certain advantages accrue in having your very own home-grown critic and editor. Having such different styles and voices helps all the more. We shore up the other's weaknesses, except when we don't. And thus enters what we call, "the honey, but" factor. It goes something like this:
Say, I read a chapter or first draft of Jim's new book. All amiability, I begin by telling him how he's really on to something, how fantastic the idea is. Then, "It's really great, honey, but...." This is the phase where I lay out what doesn't quite work, what could use improvement. His smile vanishes, his voice gets edgy, he begins to tell me why I'm wrong. Patiently and loudly, as if the other doesn't quite understand your language and a raised voice will help, I explain why my suggestions make perfect sense, and, indeed, he is wrong. The injured party retaliates either with a terse, "fine," or an implied — or stated — "you don't understand what I'm doing." Gloves are thrown down. The combatants engage. Voices go full-throttle.
If I'm the critic, my parting shot runs along the lines of, "If you'd grow up and learn to handle a little criticism,..." —this as doors bang and combatants stalk off indifferent directions. When it's his turn as the good editor, his last note tends toward, "If you don't want my opinion, why did you ask in the first place?"
The end result? Both sulk a while. The piece of writing gets stronger, not always because we follow the other's suggestions, but because we shore up, make clear what all those written words were intended to do. And as I said, time has mellowed us. We've also gained enough confidence not to need to kill the messenger. Not every time.
A question we're frequently asked is how we handle the competition. The answer is we don't really compete. Our books are too different. And while this may sound too gooey by half, the other's state of mind is more important than any score-keeping. We know too well what rejection and disappointment feel like. Rooting for each other takes precedence.
I admit that I wish I wrote half as fast as Jim —remember that 15 to 4 score card. I envy him his confidence and discipline to keep on trucking, not agonizing and second-guessing himself he way I do. Of if he ever does, he doesn't slow down. I stop in my tracks, suck my thumb, moan, make
impossible to-do lists, make lunch dates - whatever it takes to stay away from writing.
All this leading up to the end result this time around. Late last spring,we did a book tour together. I talked about the hardback of Confessions of a Bigamist, Jim about his latest, Flying Crows — and about how I definitely had no need to be a bigamist. A year later I'm pleased to be promoting my paperback of Confessions while Jim is promoting yet another new hardback,The Franklin Affair. Does this drive me crazy? Yeah!
I actually read this book and in addition to it being the perfect summer read, it's also a book about choices and how we live our lives.
Posted by: doreen | May 26, 2005 at 12:09 PM
Wonderful book! My fingers are crossed for the paperback version. It just needs the right marketing.
The Midlife woman as Outlaw. You should be doing workshops on this book. You create such great tension and along with it the expectation of a traditional resolution, and then BANG, you shoot it all to hell, and give us a true Power Woman heroine, one who sacrifices nothing but her old paradigm beliefs, and compromises nothing but the old paradigm rules and regulations. Along the way, she finds girlfriends, revisits her adolescent self, and sinks into the "dark night of the soul," from where she, like Innana, rises up to claim her right to live her life exactly as she wants. And all done in such an easy going style.
I see every step that I put forth in my book "Embracing Your Power Woman: Coming of Age in the Second Half of Life" (Wild Ox Press, 2005) paralleled in yours. We are creating a new Hero's Journey - we midlife women - based on our own personal journeys. This is so exciting. Even Time Magazine is getting into the act with last week's cover story, "A Femaile Midlife Crisis? Bring It On."
Women should be reading "Confessions of a Bigamist" in book clubs, and on beaches everywhere this summer. I'm recommending it to everyone I talk to.
Brava! Kate.
Posted by: Barbara Wilder | May 27, 2005 at 10:04 AM